


I am a robot.

by PandoraButler



Series: Music Inspired One-Shots [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst?, M/M, Sadness, VictUuri, Yoi - Freeform, after the yoi anime ended, song story, sort of canon setting?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:00:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25880221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PandoraButler/pseuds/PandoraButler
Summary: Yuuri and Victor part ways after Yuuri didn't win the Gold Medal...
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri & Victor Nikiforov
Series: Music Inspired One-Shots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1397482
Kudos: 1





	I am a robot.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song: iRobot by Jon Bellion. It uses the lyrics so I recommend listening to the song first to get the vibe before reading.

_I was a human, breathing and thinking, eating and drinking, philosophizing. I was a human, before you killed me, and ripped my heart out, I knew what love was._ Tears streamed down Victor's face as he tried to cope with the situation. His thoughts spun out of control and he cried, sobbing into his pillow, hugging his chest. _Now when they ask me, I just reply slow, and sound like an iPhone._

"I do not know love, I am a robot," Victor stared at the ceiling. He placed the pillow down and hugged his legs instead. "I used to know love. 'Cause I had a fire, passion and desire. Now all i require are circuits and wires." He stared at himself, confused, not understanding why he couldn't just rid himself of these feelings and go back to work like usual. Should he give up skating entirely? He was a robot before he watched Yuuri's video. Surely he can go back to that. He doesn't need Yuuri anymore.

"Inside was an ocean of soul and emotion," he muttered. "Then you cut me open, now all that I know is---" Victor continued sobbing. "I am a robot, thoughtless and empty, don't know who sent me, don't know who made me. Electric robot, everything's ray now, numb to the pain now, I knew what love was..." his voice hiccupped and he shut off his thoughts, allowing his mind to sink back to that fateful scene once again. Cursed memories--  
  
  


"Yuuri, I love you," he said.

"Yuuri, I'll never leave you," he said. That silver hair blew in the wind as he stood there, facing Yuuri. His eyes searched his face for a reply. Yuuri couldn't give one. He was set to leave. The plane was right there, behind him. He was going to leave. He was going to go back to Japan. Victor already knew there was nothing he could say to change his mind, even if he wanted to. Yuuri's defeat had decayed his mind. He wouldn't allow himself to have happiness.

"You can't love me," Yuuri said. "You can't love me," he repeated.

"Of course I can-"

"You can't love me, Victor," Yuuri stated, more firmly.

"I can love whoever I wish."

"Even if it's the wrong person? No," Yuuri shook his head. "I've decided Victor. I'm going on that plane whether you like it or not."

"But I love you. I will always love you," he said, reaching out to grab Yuuri only for him to move his hand away. His smiling face, what a lie. He was only showing Yuuri what he felt he needed to see. The truth was he was being eaten up inside. He wanted to die right then and there. His heart was torn straight out.

"It's impossible for you to love someone like me," Yuuri said. "I failed you as a student. I talked big and then I lost. I didn't get that gold medal, Victor," he stifled a tear. "We can't be together anymore."

"But...Yuuri-"

"No. Please, Victor," his voice cracked. "Just let me go." He was a coach. He is going to take another plane back to Russia. Yuuri is going to take this plane back to Japan. He just had to hold his feelings long enough and sit down before letting them all out.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Yuuri stared Victor in the eyes and thought long and hard about how to phrase this in a way that Victor understood. This man, that acted entirely on impulses, how would he understand? He stares into those eyes, avoiding the situation entirely wasn't going to help, he had to face it. He shouldn't have let it come to this. He knows how Victor feels, about himself, about the world, about skating. maybe if he had more confidence, if he would have listened to those words Victor kept saying, if he saw himself as Victor saw him, maybe this wouldn't have happened the way that it did.

Guilt consumed him. He was sorry. He truly was. But, he couldn't say any of those things. He couldn't try again. He has to break his heart. He has to let him move on and leave without any regrets. He has to cut their ties. The world needs a person like Victor, not a person like Yuuri. Why didn't he just understand that?

"I can't love you," he said finally. Will he understand now? Take the ring back. Go home to Russia. Stop being Yuuri's coach. He can't live this lie anymore. He grabs Victor's hand and places the ring in his palm. His hand hovers over Victor's, wanting to feel his warmth one last time. He made his choice. He must tell himself that. This confidence, that Victor tried to give him, he has to give it back. He loved, no, he loves him, but he can't. Not anymore.

"Yuuri..."

"This is what I want." No, it wasn't. Victor stared at Yuuri and then inhaled a long breath, exhaling slowly. He maintained his emotions and forced a small smile. How can he hide his emotions like it's the easiest thing in the world? That's one of the mysteries about the man Yuuri fell in love with. He stares into Yuuri's eyes. The wind in the airport blows through his hair as the door opens for the plane. Yuuri loves his hair. It's beautiful.

Yuuri doesn't wait for the last possible moment until turning. He just turns. He turned and left Victor behind. Waiting for his name to be called as the boarding starts. Victor stared at him, watching him walk. He wanted to call out to him, plead with him some more, but he clutched the ring in his hand and forced the words down into the depths of his throat. He loves him. He loves him so much. What happened between them? Why did they end up like this?

"I'm sorry," Victor apologized under his breath, knowing that Yuuri wouldn't hear him. "I'm so so sorry."

Yuuri doesn't turn to look at him one last time. He knows that if he did, he would run back to him, all resolve going through the wind. This is goodbye. He will go back to being Victor's #1 fan. Victor will go back to being the dream Yuuri could never get close to. His idol. That was how it should be.

Victor lets the tears fall from his eyes, he doesn't bother to wipe them away. What was the point? He is gone, out of Victor's life forever. They'll never see each other again. Yuuri would never talk to him again. What did it matter what he looked like? It hurts. It'll always hurt.

He rushed to the window of the airport, watching as the plane started to take off. His entire body felt numb. His heart ached. Will this feeling ever go away? He has to learn how to be a robot...


End file.
